Random sporting irritations we just had to put out there
Can you imagine pub debates if everyone agreed about everything? What a horror show that would be – especially when it comes to sport. Same all-time Premier League XI, same best player never to win the big one, etc. So while the following list might seem like one long, random rant, we’re actually performing a public service.
And the cat? Well, why not a cat for starters. And as you can tell by his face, he’s got a few frustrations of his own to vent (either that or he strongly disagrees with number ten).
1. Sky Sports ‘breaking news’
(Insert name of footballer/cricketer/whatever) has twisted his/her ankle’….. Oh the tension, it’s unbearable.
2. Norwich City
You could’ve put your mortgage on the Canaries getting relegated this season. Why? Because that’s what they always do, and no doubt they’ll be straight back up at the first time of asking. It’s nearly 20 years since Delia Smith‘s infamous “let’s be ‘avin you” speech and they still haven’t found a way to cement top-flight status. It’s a waste of a promotion place, quite frankly, and beyond tedious.
3. Snooker clichés
Honestly, it’s as if snooker pundits are all given the same list of hackneyed words and phrases to learn before they go to bed at night. “Shot to nothing” and “bunch” spring to mind. The worst one? “Reduce the arrears”, an extremely dull way to describe closing the gap.
4. Racecourse/greyhound stadium closures
Not even that hallowed Mancunian dogtrack, Belle Vue, could survive the economic turmoil of the past two years. Are you seriously trying to tell us that interest levels have dropped that low, or that somebody, somewhere couldn’t have stepped in? Come on, sort it out! No more, please.
5. Tetchy test cricket fans
Would cricket be half the game it is today without a bit of colur, razzmatazz and, of course, different formats and franchises? The answer is a resounding “no”. So, old school tie brigade, the next time you’re at Lords watching England on day four, just think on…
6. Premier League Darts
The game has evolved into a behemoth, with thousands of fans packing out large-scale venues on a regular basis. Unfortunately, this has created a monster: namely Premier League Darts fans. Many aren’t even there for the darts itself and behave like old-school football hooligans into the bargain. They give the rest a bad name.
7. Three Lions
Controversial, we know. We’re not saying the lyrics are arrogant, plus we can appreciate it’s a decent tune; but does it not put an extra helping of pressure on the England team at major tournaments?
8. “Mee-lan” and “Lee-onel”
AC Milan are so-called because they were founded by two cricket-loving Brits, hence the anglicised version of the name. In any case, the Italian way is ‘Milano’. Lionel Messi was christened as a homage to the great Lionel Ritchie; again, straight from the English language. Those football commentators that continually mispronounce the two are either overthinking things or being pretentious. Either way, they sound ridiculous.
9. Barry-bashing
A favourite pastime among certain snooker players. The ‘Barry’ in question is one Mr Hearn, who’s almost single-handedly dragged snooker from the doldrums it found itself in during the noughties. Yet some pros still see fit to winge and whine even though he’s provided them with quite the enviable lifestyle.
10. Harry Styles
Nope, nothing to do with sport; just annoying.
Do any of these strike a chord with you? Maybe you’ve got a few gripes of your own. Let us know in the comments!
The Early Whistle 