The World Cup: Horrific hosts and memorable moments

We take an alternative look at football’s showpiece event from 1990 onwards, along with some gentle reminders of why England fans just never know what’s in store…

It’s that time of the year where hopes are raised, dreams are made and celebrations begin. For once, we’re not talking about Christmas, but the greatest show on earth – the World Cup. While this latest instalment has rightfully come in for criticism, anything that takes away the limelight from Slade and Wizzard for a change is fine by us.

To mark the occasion, here’s a run-down of those tournaments from the last 32 years, starting with the not-so-great and saving the best for last. How often will England enter the conversation? A little, perhaps. Okay, maybe a lot.

South Africa 2010

We start with the worst World Cup in living memory, let alone the last three decades. The vuvuzelas (remember them?) were the ugly; state-of-the-art TV studios built adjacent to slum neighbourhoods, the bad. The good? Non-existent at this complete cow-pat of a competition, which was capped by Spain’s dreadful tiki-taka football taking the ultimate prize. From an England perspective, there’s no bitterness here, even with that disallowed Frank Lampard goal. The Germans went on to win 7-1, so surely defeat would have occurred either way.

Germany 2006

Memorable for one thing and one thing only – namely Zinedine Zidane‘s moment of madness when the Frenchman did a bizarre impression of a ram, headbutting defender Marco Materazzi smack in the guts. A travesty of a final was only outshone by the fact that the Italians became the worst-ever team to be crowned world champions. As for England, this was Sven-Goran Eriksson‘s last stand, as Cristiano Ronaldo proved that it’s not always skill that wins matches.

USA ’94

England’s absence is far from being the reason why this tournament finds itself so far down the pecking order: Jack Charlton was still there to fly the flag, and he so nearly marshalled his Irish troops to great effect once more. America as hosts; teams falling victim to the Floridian/Californian heat; Sweden making the semis – it just wasn’t right. Having said all of that, watching Roberto Baggio fluff his lines in the final did provide some much-needed drama.

France ’98

Seeing the hosts re-emerge as a footbaling superpower wasn’t exactly a pretty sight, but a lot of the football played during this particular summer definitely was. Yet funnily enough, a lot of the headlines were written by England, despite them going out in the second round. For a start they managed to qualify this time, which was quickly followed by an acrimonious end to Paul Gascoigne‘s international career. On the pitch, Michael Owen won the plaudits, whilst David Beckham… didn’t. David Batty, that is the question.

Russia 2018

This was the first time Eastern Europe had played hosts, but that was to be far from the only piece of history made. Holders Germany, for the first (and possibly last) time ever, failed to make it past the group stage. Amusing as that was, far less palatable was Japan getting through by way of fair play. Here at The Early Whistle we’re all for a bit of sportsmanship, but let’s have the footy doing the talking, please. Gareth Southgate‘s England managed to lift the curse of the penalty shootout, although that was to bite back with a vengeance three years later.

Brazil 2014

If any nation could do the World Cup justice, surely it was Brazil. Overall, this competition was a roaring success, although the hosts suffered seismic semi-final embarrassment at the hands of eventual winners Germany. The yellow jersey has long since lost that fear factor, although we’ll soon see the extent of the long-term damage. 2014 should also have seen the end of one of England’s lesser managerial lights, Roy Hodgson, but it seems the FA weren’t satisfied with a single dose of humiliation, and a disastrous Euro 2016 was lying in wait.

Japan & South Korea 2002

Depending on which time zone you were in, setting the alarm became quite the habit if you wanted to grab a piece of the action. That aside, this was a tournament oozing class, quality and charisma. The Nike ad campaign that became synonymous with it, was memorably backed by the remixed Elvis classic (aren’t they all classics?) A Little Less Conversation, and although 2002 isn’t the King of them all, it comes close. Had Alan Shearer not hung up his international boots, England may even have gone on to grab World Cup glory, but we’ll never know.

Italia ’90

It was so good, even its name trips off the tongue. There’s a simple reason why there’s two documentary series on Italia ’90 currently doing the rounds: it’s arguably the greatest sporting event of all-time. One of them says it’s the tournament that changed football, the other that it changed the world. The latter might be a bold claim, but that just shows the affection and esteem in which it’s held. What England would give for the emergence of the next Gazza at Qatar 2022!

Assuming that doesn’t happen, could they actually do it? It’s not impossible, and if 1990 showed anything, it’s that great things can be achieved in the face of adversity. Do you agree with our list? How do you rate England’s chances? Feel free to leave any World Cup-related comments below.