Because Santa can’t be sweet for them all…
Here at the Early Whistle we’ve always got our fingers on the pulse, and we’re acutely aware that traditional festive favourite, the humble mince pie, is definitely not to everyone’s taste. Add to that that we did a taste test on the little blighters just a couple of years ago, and it was decided an alternative was in order.
So here they are, five swaps with a twist. No two are alike, nor from the same retail giant, but we like to think they’re still comparable enough for a Christmas battle of the baked goods. So let’s see which supermarket comes out on top in 2025.
Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Cranberry & Orange Stollen Bites
If there was a threat to the mince pie’s crown of most ubiquitous Christmas sweetie, the stollen bite would be favourite, and Sainsbury’s have stepped it up with several different flavours of the traditional German treat. We thought it couldn’t get more seasonal than cranberry and orange, and you almost think it’s going to be love at first bite. The texture’s tiptop, but the flavours let the ensemble down a bit; a solidly sweet enough start, however.
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Morrisons ‘The Best’ Cherry Bakewell Mince Pies
Partly mince pie, granted, and the real beauty here is that, much like the latter, it can pair well with any of the traditional drinks you’d care to leave out for Santa. However, the similarities are seldom few after that. Morrisons really dodged a potential banana skin – or rather a slippery sultana – and so this avoids doing a bad impression of a mince pie. If you’re not after big crunches and bold flavours, its soft, subtle sweetness could be your weakness.
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Lidl Deluxe Florentine Selection
There’s debate as to which European nation invented these little beauties, but wherever it was, you can trust Lidl to deliver when it comes to continental… can you? The pecan nuts provide a cracking combo with all three types of chocolate, as well as cranberry and ginger to make this a truly festive offering. This is a boxful of bites that give a silky finish with a subtle sprinkling of steel thrown in. Put simply, delightful.
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Asda Magical Millionaire’s Mini Loaf Cakes
Rich by name, not so decadent by nature, these really should be doing a lot better. If you’re a mince pie-hater then don’t think for one minute that these will do the job. The sickly cream and the bland sponge are a match made in hell and so the overall package sinks to even lower depths. And don’t be fooled by the cute little stars as decoration; they fall off and disappear without a trace.
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M&S Colin Caterpillar Chocolate Sponge Mini Rolls
Is this really a fair fight? On paper, overwhelmingly not, but most of us don’t eat paper. Here, the main danger should’ve been dry sponge, and although that’s been avoided, the biggest pitfall is still to come. Despite the white chocolate being a lovely addition to the piece, Colin’s head and body taste like they don’t truly belong together; like they’ve been meshed a little randomly. Can M&S do better? This is the wrong advertising slogan, but probably.
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So it’s Christmas congrats to Lidl, and sleigh bell sympathies for the rest. If you tend to disagree with the above, you know where to post your comment (clue: it’s not Lapland).
The Early Whistle 