Gettó Gulyás, Budapest: Having a ball with Hungary on a plate

Don’t be chicken, book now!

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In a recent feature, The Early Whistle was full of praise for Hungarian food and begged the question why it’s not caught on. Years of being hidden behind the Iron Curtain probably account for much of that, but being the culinary world’s best-kept secret means a trip to Budapest is a true taste adventure. Throw in a place like Gettó Gulyás and you realise that it’s not just street food that offers the quirky and exotic.

It’s fair to say that compared to most European cuisine, Hungary’s is a bit more on the funky side. Funkiness embraced, I’d noticed that McDonald’s in this part of the world offered a burger with brie in it – the ‘Maestro Brie Ben’. Different to be sure, but I was after something much more leftfield.

Through a little research I’d stumbled upon a genuine not-for-the-faint-hearted dish. I’m talking, of course, about kakashere – aka rooster testicles. Apparently a Christmas market was the place to go, but sadly I’d drawn a blank – or so I thought. By chance I strolled past Gettó Gulyás, stopping to take a quick butchers at the menu on the way. Suddenly, there it was in black-and-white…

In the afore-mentioned travel article, I’d perhaps given the impression that booking a table is completely unnecessary in Budapest. That’s not 100% true, as there are a handful that require it the day before; Gettó Gulyás being arguably the most popular restaurant in the entire city, is one of them. However, with confirmation safely in my inbox barely two hours later, I was all set for a mix of traditional Hungarian fare and contemporary dining.

This establishment is classy-looking without any hint of pretence. Very much in the 2020s with its minimalist decor, yet still with a warm, earthy feel, much like the food. I had noticed that, unlike you’d find in the UK, most of the waiting staff were middle-aged males, which I’m guessing is down to this place turning over so many Forints, that working here provides a very steady living. That’s not to say it’s expensive by any stretch of the way.

The astute among you have probably worked out that I’d already decided on the main course, but for starters it was a two-horse race and they probably sum-up Gettó Gulyás to a tee: peasant dishes sitting effortlessly beside the more high-brow. First in the running was roasted bone marrow on toast, in competition with beef tartare with quail egg and toast. I’d never had the chance to try either, but would I stick with the more adventurous option?

As you can see, I didn’t. My waiter, who showed a passion and knowledge of the menu the like of which I’ve never known, had a telling reaction to my selection of main course. I uttered “rooster” thinking that would be enough. His eventual response of “Oooooh, testicles!” proved that the brief delay was down to them seldom being ordered. Back to what’s on the plate above, and my immediate thoughts turned to how small a quail must be. Anyhow, its egg was perched proudly upon the tartare, so what about the two cream-coloured slices in front? Lard. Although all this might seem a bit of a mish-mash, put them together on sourdough toast (the best I’ve ever had, so breakfasts will never be the same again) and you’ve got yourself a Michelin star candidate. Seriously, it tasted like nothing else.

With the main course in spooning distance I was a tad excited about what was to come. Also, I spied the starter that just failed to make the cut on the table next to me. Bone marrow on toast looked surprisingly artisan, but this being Gettó Gulyás that was surely a given. Then it arrived. This stew – most of the main dishes are classed as such – also contained cockscombs, a popular delicacy in many continental nations. Testicles not so, and all I can say is that they taste unique. That’s meant as a positive, but they’re difficult to describe in terms of taste, except for a hint of offal. As for texture, they’re the softest of the soft with a consistency similar to gnocchi. The combs were comparable to alphabetti spaghetti (again, not a criticism), except in appearance of course. The sauce is like the richest ragu you’ve ever tried, but chopped yellow pepper is provided on a separate plate if you need to balance things out a bit.

That’s yet another great selling point to Gettó Gulyás: striving for innovation and executing it perfectly. Despite the stew being heartier than a packet of jammie dodgers, dessert wasn’t getting off that lightly. Attentive and enthusiastic as ever, my waiter went to great lengths to present a case for each one, and after some thought I went for the floating island with crushed pistachio. There was just the right amount of booziness involved, rendering it too grown-up to be a trifle; far too classy for a knickerbocker glory.

Budapest has more restaurants than you can shake a drumstick at, with a fair few that pride themselves on traditional Hungarian food. They’ve got every right to, but surely none of them do it with the style and finesse of Gettó Gulyás.